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[Fri Apr 2011 @ 2:58pm] |
UGH! I'm so angry I could just scream! My fairy business has been ruined by my nan. For those of you who don't know, I'm a professional fairy in my free time. I entertain children at their birthday parties and do lots of fun things with them, like have tea parties and fairy dress-up time and I make balloon animals and loads of other things, too!
My nan is staying with us for the hols, but she's been giving mum and dad a giant headache with her antics. So I suggested that maybe I could take her with me to a couple of the parties. BAD. IDEA.
She dressed up in one of my fairy costumes (which is now RIPPED) and I told her she should call herself Fairy Greta, since I just use my first name and call myself Fairy Vicky, but she REFUSED! Instead she insisted on calling herself Fairy Daiquiri and finally I just let her have the name since she was putting up SUCH a fuss.
And the birthday party was terrible! She snuck all the sweets she could and hid them in her purse! She taught all the children naughty words and raided the pantry for liquor! By the end of the party she was PLASTERED and when we left she asked to be paid in gin! The kids loved it, but the parents were SO cross and I had to apologise about twenty times. And she smoked, too! Fairies don't smoke! It made us look so unprofessional. I'll be lucky if I ever book another party again!
Don't believe me? See for yourself! Here's a picture I took of her as evidence in my defence!
( A FLICK OF THE WAND REVEALS THE PICTURE )
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| 004 |
[Fri Mar 2011 @ 3:20pm] |
I'm sure many of you know by now about the campaign to start up cheerleading squads for all of the Quidditch matches. So, in addition to sketching out uniform designs, I've come up with a few Hufflepuff cheers! Want to hear them? Of course you do! Well, you can't technically hear them, but you can read them, which is almost as good! I'll capitalise everything so it looks like they're being shouted!
HUFFLEPUFF HAS GOT THE STUFF!
YOU THINK YOU'RE ROUGH? WELL WE FIGHT TOUGH!
ROCK WITH THE YELLOW AND ROLL WITH THE BLACK!
OR ELSE PREPARE FOR A BADGER ATTACK!
STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE, BANANA SPLIT!
WE THINK YOUR TEAM PLAYS LIKES
SHIFT IT TO THE LEFT!
SHIFT IT TO THE RIGHT!
GO BADGERS GO AND FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!
BANG BANG CHOO CHOO TRAIN!
COME ON HUFFLEPUFF AND DO YOUR THANG!
SALT MAKES YOU THIRSTY!
PEPPER MAKES YOU SNEEZE!
BUT WHEN IT COMES TO QUIDDITCH!
WE'LL BRING YOU TO YOUR KNEES!
GO HUFFLEPUFF!
There's no way the faculty can say no to this!
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| 003 |
[Tue Feb 2011 @ 11:59pm] |
So I've been reading all about auras and I am now officially the resident aura expert. Why doesn't Hogwarts offer a class? They should. It would help people get in touch with their emotions and their inner selves and their spiritual oneness with the world. My new motto is be the best you that you can be. Isn't that lovely?
Anyway, I'm sure you're all interested in knowing what colour aura you have. But don't worry, because I can tell you for free! My aura is purple, which means I'm very spiritually connected and have psychic abilities, but I already knew I was psychic. Like the one time I dreamt that my pet turtle would die and a week later he actually did! I tried to communicate with him from beyond the grave but it never worked. I think I have to develop my skills more. Maybe then I'll find out why he died.
And it definitely wasn't my fault, since I took excellent care of him and spoiled him rotten and fed him chocolate. He made this funny choking noise when he ate the chocolate, but I think he was just really excited because he loved it so much. I mean, who doesn't love chocolate?
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| 002 |
[Sun Dec 2010 @ 7:50pm] |
THE LIST
Attractive (but does not have to be perfect)
Loves animals (even imaginary ones!)
Smells nice
Does not have any social diseases (you know what I mean -- private problems of the venereal sort)
Is in touch with his emotions
Faithful
Not a manwhore
Appreciates romantical things
Laughs at my jokes!
Not too hairy (I'm very ticklish)
Trustworthy and honest
Good sense of humour
Is a bit of a rebel -- but a gentle one
Is willing to tolerate pet names
Must must must (this is a must!) be as tall or taller than me. I don't want to make anyone self-conscious.
Well? Anyone match up?
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